


no, seriously, she has the best plans

by trinityclare



Category: This Means War (2012)
Genre: Multi
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2012-02-21
Updated: 2012-02-21
Packaged: 2017-10-31 12:48:40
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 736
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/344219
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/trinityclare/pseuds/trinityclare
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Franklin has always hated being the one to say "I told you so."</p>
            </blockquote>





	no, seriously, she has the best plans

**Author's Note:**

> Fine, brain, I give in. Someday, someone will write a beautiful epic fic that fixes all the skeevy things that were wrong with this movie. Meanwhile, I will just have to write them being adorable and threesomey. The great thing about this character being so horrendously stereotypical is that his fic voice is really, really easy. Unbetaed and possibly incomplete, in the "oh god post it now before it grows a plot" sense.

Honestly, he'd known the game was over when she'd looked up at him and said, "I'm sorry, but I'm not calling you FDR during sex." People have been calling him FDR since high school - he had friends in college who'd never known his actual last name - but he's never thought of it as his name. "It's Franklin," he'd said, leaning in to finish the neck hickey he'd been working on, but she'd pushed him away for a second, looked into his eyes. "Seriously?" she said. "Seriously." "Franklin," she'd repeated, trying it out, and yeah, he wasn't giving up on this.

Tuck's wife dumps him (again) two months after he moves back in with her. Franklin hates her a little bit for making Tuck so miserable, and a little more for being so damn inconsistent (first he's too boring, and now he's not boring enough? really?), but mostly he gets it. The kind of woman who marries a travel agent and then dumps him for being boring is exactly the kind of woman who marries a spy and then dumps him for being secretive. Also he figures it takes a certain kind of person to be a cop's wife, and only when she knows what she's signing up for, and Katie hadn't really known even the second time. Especially since Tuck had come back from their last assignment with two broken ribs, another chipped tooth and the air of danger he'd spent so long trying to camouflage. Meanwhile Franklin has apparently developed an allergy to bullets. Part of him wonders if his newfound risk-aversion is what's making Tuck so reckless, and then tells himself he's really not to blame for the wreck of his best friend's marriage (again).

It takes Lauren about thirty seconds to get over the inherent awkwardness of the situation and tell him to let Tuck crash on their couch. He really, really loves that woman.

It takes Lauren about three weeks to start giving Tuck the side-eye when he wanders shirtless around the house. Something in Franklin's belly curls up in anticipation when he sees that calculating look on her face. It's even better than her decisive product-tester face (and he will never, ever stop giving her grief about the fact that she chooses between things for a living; the irony is just too much to handle). This is the face that means she's not going to stand for this any longer, and she's developing a plan to fix it. He doesn't know what she's going to do about it, but he's pretty sure he's going to like whatever she comes up with.

He really, _really_ loves that woman. She has the best plans.

He suspects that this particular plan was concocted with Trish's help, considering it began with Lauren getting both of them drunk and then daring them to make out with each other, but he's not complaining. And he's not telling Lauren that he and Tuck are both pretending to be drunker than they are -- Tuck because he's more naturally cautious, and Franklin because liquid courage is one thing, but whiskey dick is another. He won't get to make fun of Tuck's adorable British repression later if he's the one causing the gay panic now, and not being able to get it up will really not help. (He also doesn't get to give Tuck shit for being uptight if he's busy with his own gay panic, which is an excellent reason not to bother with it. That and the presence of his smoking hot girlfriend. And the fact that one threesome does not a sexual reinvention make. Except for how Tuck's dick is currently in his mouth and Tuck's eyes are rolling back and he's making this _noise_ and now Franklin's imagining all the other ways he could get Tuck to make that noise and okay, fine, that's a yes on the sexual reinvention and a resolute no on the gay panic. He'd lost the right to make fun of Tuck about Lauren when he'd won Lauren. He's not giving up his chance at the best ammunition he's had in years.) Also he owes Trish flowers, or maybe an all-expenses-paid trip somewhere where they have fruity drinks and cabana boys. (He owes Lauren orgasms. Many, many orgasms. And probably a new bed, after they finish breaking this one.)

What? Just because it was a ridiculous plan doesn't mean it didn't _work._


End file.
